Coming up for Air

I just did about 3 posts, but this one is by far the most important for me and my posterity, so if you just want to skip to pictures, feel free.

*Deep Breath*  Sometimes I feel like I'm swimming out in the middle of the ocean.  I'm fighting the currents that are pulling me every which way and some days I feel like my life vest is gone and other days it's there holding me up, but that's not the main point.  The main point is that I'm doing all this work and all this swimming and honestly feeling like I'm swimming toward the right destination, but as I get closer and closer, I realize how far I have gotten off track.  It's usually little things here and there, that you wouldn't normally even pay attention to, but it's amazing how one little inch of deviation makes such a huge impact a mile further on up.

Sometimes I wish I could get a "re-do" and I guess in a sense we always have that option, but the hardest part is first admitting how far of course you are.  Throughout our lives, and specifically throughout our married life we have had those aha, wake up moments and been able to steer back on course pretty quickly and easily...when you start adding children into the mix, it gets harder.  Bad habits are harder to erase and good habits seem harder to build and strengthen, but it's worth it and I know that.

So, recently, I guess basically August 1st, it happened again, time to make a change, time to re-commit to living and keeping standards high, in a "I'm scared of what evils are out there trying to steer us our kids off course, we need someplace (home) to get away from it all and have a break to take a breath and keep going" sort of way.  Logan is going to be starting Kindergarten this month and I can't help but wonder if I've taught him enough.  Does he know how to play nice? Does he know how to be respectful? Does he know how to stand up for himself?  etc...I know deep stuff for a 5 year old, but it all comes back to what we do in our home and are we living up to our gospel standards.  I feel like I needed a helicopter to come and pick me out and drop me back on course and set me up with a tank full of patience.

Family Home Evening has always been a challenge for us.  We made a commitment when were living in Oklahoma that we would have it no matter what.  We did really well for a while, and then life happened, we moved, we built a house, moved again, added two more boys to the family, and that sort of thing so it slowly disappeared from our lives, but we had a wake up call and we're back on course.  This month we're focusing on temples.  We have about 4 temples all within about a 15-20 minute drive from our house.  This week we visited Draper temple.

 The boys really loved it.  That Monday had probably been the craziest day I've had in a long time.  We took Tragon to the dr. because his gland were tremendously swollen, his tonsils were basically touching at the back of his throat.  I was able to find friends to watch the other kids while I took him in.  (and of course it would be very easy to jump to a really crazy scary conclusion of what it could be).  Though I put on a good front, I was actually starting to get nervous that it would be something serious.  Answered prayer #1: it was only strep.  Not fun, but definitely better than the alternative.

 I also had an appointment later that afternoon to have a root canal re-done.  I was pretty stressed and nervous about this, and now I have a sick child that I don't really want to pass off on someone else while I go in, but I've had a really bad toothache for the past week and a half and can't wait 5 more days until the next available appt.  I called around and thought I finally had a solution, but then my sweet husband called with the best solution.  Have Grandma come down.  I was so scattered that day I don't know why I didn't think of that.  Answered prayer #2: Grandma was able to come down and just happened to be in between watching other grandkids.

 Since I already had a babysitter lined up for the baby, I felt like I should keep that.  Answered prayer #3: Jaron slept the entire time I was gone, but I know for a fact he wouldn't have done that at home with all the noisy boys and then grandma would have had to deal with a really fussy/tired/hungry baby.

 Answered Prayer #4: The root canal cost about 10% of what I was expecting.  It was about $150 instead of the $1000 that I was prepared for.  Answered Prayer #5: It really wasn't that bad.  I got the "good" dentist, I didn't have a super numb face, my jaw didn't lock up or get too sore, and it's been a really good recovery.  I haven't had to take any additional pain medication other than what I took when I left their office. Answered Prayer #6: I was prescribed an antibiotic to finish treating the infection in my tooth...that seems like a weird answer, but when I was in for Tragon's appt I asked about Jaron because they share a room and the dr said that babies typically won't get it unless the mom gets it, well, now I'm pretty sure I won't get strep if I'm on an antibiotic too.

 Answered Prayer #7: Morgan has had a really stressful time at work lately and has had lots of late days, and Monday was no exception, but he was able to get home by 7:00 for FHE   (which I was determined to have despite the crazy day, I felt like it was a test to see if I really meant it) and I had the energy to take care of getting kids ready for bed and fed and ready to go see the temple...hence the pajama attire for the boys.  :)

 Answered Prayer: #8  The boys loved the temple and were already excited to go see another one next week.  I don't know if these are all specific answers to prayers that I asked for, or if they are more like tender mercies of the Lord, but either way since we have been re-dedicating our lives and efforts to our scripture study, prayer, and service as a couple, individually, and as a family I have truly felt His hand in our lives, even if it is seemingly menial things.  To me, it meant the world.

 My heart is full of gratitude for my Savior and for my family.  I have been so blessed in my life and I hope that I can have the strength and courage to teach my sons to be righteous and strong and find their testimonies.  I can think of no greater blessing than being able to be with my family forever.

 I am so grateful for the temple and the opportunity I had to be sealed there to my eternal companion.  I would be so lost without him.  I'm grateful for the opportunity to make those eternal covenants and hope that I can do better in the coming days to prove myself and do better and be better.

Until next time....remember, sometimes life gets hard, sometimes there is a calm before the storm and sometimes there isn't, but either way hold fast to the rod and you'll never get too far of course...